Society actively punishes poverty.

I’m not going to write a diatribe about this, most people know this narrative, but they really don’t understand how insidious this actually is.

I can’t access the medications that I need because of my insurance, which is Apple Health and is for people who are homeless, unemployed, whatever the case may be. The medications that would help get me out of poverty and become successful, I don’t have medical coverage for.

So I have to work even harder than everyone else, exerting more energy (chaotic energy at that, which means the effective work is less in magnitude, but I’ll talk about the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics in another post), for less return.

And I grew up in poverty and I truly mean poverty. I developed a habit of stealing my food for this reason and being a thief to earn a living. And yes, there are people who will say, why don’t you just work? And I do! But my work is ineffective and doesn’t result in the same success as others, it doesn’t manifest the same way, some of the work is exerted as free energy/heat/bodily inflammation which is why I have so many autoimmune conditions.

But we won’t get into that. Let’s talk about the fact that I went to a psychiatrist today, and couldn’t get the proper medications because I’m poor, and why am I poor? Not my choice really. And the only jobs I can attain easily are service jobs despite the fact I’m highly educated and a certified genius. Why? Because I don’t have connections and remember connections are social! It’s a form of capital that the underprivileged and poverty-stricken lack. People with less talent and less intelligence get a lot more out of life by being connected to influential people.

I’m not bitter about this, I’m stating life as it is. I grew up a poor black woman, who is the first in her family to achieve a PhD (let alone a graduate degree at all).

Anyway, I work harder than everyone around me because there are at least 5 barriers fighting in opposing directions towards me at every minute, while my colleagues sit on their ass, not really appreciating what it is they have or why they’re here at all. No ambition, no goals, no inspiration.

Genius thrives in adversity, and is defined by it. There are ways out, like marrying up (and keep in mind: a PhD is a marriage) which basically boils down to marrying someone of higher social status so that your family doesn’t have to perpetuate that cosmological curse that is your existence as a Black person. It works if you ignore the fact that most men aren’t attracted to Black women if they aren’t Black themselves, see Black women as inferior in multitude ways, or have parents who decide that having Black in their lineage means something is wrong. So does me being a genius mean anything? Nope. Haven’t you seen Good Will Hunting? He only got off the ground and out of poverty when a well-off White man took Will off of the street.

Most white people can identify with that movie, because it’s White people doing White things. But now imagine that the character is Black, would you empathize as much? Would you understand what it’s like to not have your gifts realized because society, for whatever reason, is working against you?

I’m about this close to saying fuck it and going to MIT. If I’m going to be a loser anywhere, it may as well be at a place where more people are Winning.

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