Have you ever eaten a food that you feel affect your body positively immediately after eating it? I mean positively, as if you can feel your molecular structure changing for the better, about 20 minutes after it’s ingested. You get a pleasant feeling, as if it’s exactly what you needed. Sometimes, your system will slow down to integrate the structure, but it’s calming and you know it was the right choice to eat.

I’ve been eating raw veal liver everyday at 12:35pm for the last two weeks, and it’s the only food I found that’s not pathological. It doesn’t induce cravings, it doesn’t generate anxiety, and by the end of it, I just know I needed it. Medicinal, truly.

It took me a while to find a place that sells it fresh, but I’ve found it and it’s truly a very different experience than eating it from a grocery or any old butcher or even eating adult cow liver, which has a very unpleasant taste.

No, I actually look forward to eating this liver everyday. It’s my first meal of the day and it’s a booster. I’m curious what it’s doing to my own liver, which is weak.

Just as a side note in case you didn’t know Vitamin A is most concentrated in liver, and synthetic versions have been created to treat all types of ailments. Most of you probably have heard of Accutane. Well… search what Retinol and its derivatives are, compare and come back. Then go to your nearest butcher and start eating liver. Also check B9 (Folate) and then throw away your prenatal vitamins.

Today I decided that I do see the virtue in selfishness, and it is a great preservation tactic. I no longer care about educating, saving, helping or inspiring others. I whole-heartedly am dedicated to my work, my own knowledge and my own health. I wanted to do something outside of math because I wanted an income to support this family I planned in my mind. No family, no longer worried about work, no friends, no longer worried about connections. Being alone everyday gets easier and easier.

Ravi changed me in some way, and while the relationship sucked ultimately, the resultant was positive. And of course it isn’t just Ravi, as I have all of my ex-boyfriends to thank. Just like I have all of the friends I don’t have, and the families I won’t make, and the parents who don’t exist. I have everyone and no one to thank for this transformation. Whatever, man. Go eat a liver.

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