I know it’s been 3 months and some change, but I wanted to send you some mail to just make things right, the best way I can. I’ve taken this time to think about somethings and I’ve come to the conclusion that we should stay in contact as friends. There’s no point in cutting all ties. Things could have been better but I just have to go the other way for my reasons. I’m heading back to California now so I won’t be seeing you again in Seattle, but maybe it’s better this way. You’re still a great friend and I do want to see you again. Cali?
I’m going to be stuck in Cali on probation. I’m going to finish up and that’s why I’m heading back. I’m on a transit from Seattle King County Jail. Stopped in a nice little Douglas County Oregon jail in a neat little town called Rosenburg. Not a bad stay so far. I spend my days working out, watching TV, keeping myself as healthy as can be. I shouldn’t be in jail for long once I make it to Cali and I’ll be working as soon as I can. I’ll send you some money for spending money on me so much. I’m really sorry things didn’t work out. Sorry for being so grumpy too. I’m sure you’ve you [sic] feel the same way now. I hope its felt like nothing, me leaving you. Good luck with school as well! Sorry for my atrocious hand writing. I’m more of a typer ya know? I’m still writing music and I’m also writing a book. A few of them. I really want to be famous. One of the biggest reasons I had to leave was to pursue my list of celebrity crushes while, all the while, being a belligerent drunk. And you know how I like my substances. Good and plentiful. And you don’t want that around you. I know who you are. Unless you changed on me! Not saying you need to change… You probably have a bad impression of me and I hope this letter can bend said perceptions. Oh shit! I’m so sorry for being such an embarrassment to your family. Not only did I let you down, I let your whole family down. I should have called that situation better. Tell your grandma that I’m extremely sorry same to your mom. She trusted me with allowing me to move to your grandmas spot. Other than that I hope all is well. Oh is there anyway you can mail my stuff? Like my journals, or did you get rid of them? S’all good. I just wanted to turn the songs in them into mixtapes. I think I’m better at just freestyling songs now. You should hear me.
Anyways band mate I have to go. I’ll send more mail your way when I get to Cali and you’ll have my jail mailing address. Please if you want we should keep in touch via mail for a little. The Universe shall bring you everything you need. Fuel your passions. I hope you’ve recorded some some songs without me. Actually I hope I left you as a full fledged musician. Hope I didn’t crush that passion by leaving. Get back to it if you stopped!
Anyways, love you Jazzypoo. Have a blessed day!
P.S. Happy New Year, Merry Christmas, Happy Thanksgiving, and Happy Halloween! It’s my birthday in a few days too so wish me luck. Much luck.
I’ll never talk to James again. Not only is he dead to me, but I would have killed him myself. There was one night I was having an allergic reaction to soy milk, after he convinced me that my allergies were all in my head, and I wanted it to be true, so I tried it out.
I went to fight him when I was having the reaction, and he pinned me down. I knew he wasn’t going to kill me, but I could feel that he had no love for me. Seemed more like mercy, in a way.
Either way, one of us would have killed the other if we were together for too long. That’s how strong of an attachment I have to him, and I don’t actually like it.
He indirectly saved my life.
Fuck him. Die.