There’s something about interaction with the rest of the world that not only seems pointless but destructive. Being around others introduces chaos, of what magnitude, I cannot measure. After being around people for a while, not even interacting with them verbally or anything, but just sharing a space, I end up dizzy and have to spend time alone to recalibrate. I’m almost always in a distracted state of mind if there isn’t silence around me. I wonder if it’s because I started meditating more than usual, and that I stopped with all forms of auditory input.

See, people are nothing but their residuals, their traces. You can learn a lot about an entity by studying its trace. The people who imbibe chaos will leak chaos, and will become sort of vortices of chaotic output – chaos generators. It feels dizzying, and it is. Some of it is the storm of their emotions, and you can feel that too. Other parts of it are the news the watch, the people they hang around, the fears they have, all of it… leaking out of them.

All I look for on this campus is a place of solitude, a place that is silent. Most people are still uncomfortable with silence, and must fill space with their voice, the voice of others, music, ticks, bangs, screeches, laughs.

My mind only wants peace.

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